


A closed door is a closed door

by commanderlurker (honeybee592)



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Being Walked In On, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 12:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6658567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybee592/pseuds/commanderlurker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone keeps walking in on the Inquisitor and Bull having sex. Why can't they see a closed door for what it is?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A closed door is a closed door

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sumi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/gifts).



A closed door is a closed door. How hard is it to understand that? Even Ellana knows it and she was brought up without any doors, really. Tent flaps and aravel flaps didn’t count. So why was it so hard for these humans, these people brought up in houses and buildings and cities filled with doors, to not see a closed door for what it was? A bloody closed door.

Bull’s room was bad enough. It had three doors! Three! They’d barricaded two of them with a dresser and a bookshelf but that one door, it still seemed to pose a problem for the people outside. Maybe they secretly wanted to see what was happening inside. Maybe after the first time, they wanted more. Ellana couldn’t blame them. After her first time with Bull she definitely wanted more. But she wasn’t interested in sharing the experience. Bull was hers and hers alone. Or so she hoped.

At least with her chambers atop the tower they had some warning when someone barged in. Enough time for Bull to throw a blanket over Ellana to cover her modesty before telling whoever it was to _fuck off_.

Just about everyone from the Inner Circle must have walked in on them at least once. Josie held the record and after the third time, Ellana suspected she was doing it on purpose. Maker knows the looks she threw at Bull.

*  
Cole didn’t have to open any doors to see what they got up to. He just wandered right into their minds. She’d have to have words with him about that. Again.

*  
Vivienne had wanted to go through dress options for the Winter Palace, only she walked into Ellana’s chambers to see Ellana dangling from the chandelier, with Bull’s face between her trussed up legs.

“Can we do this another time? I’m a little tied up right now,” Ellana said.

Vivienne had the good grace to smile, at least. “Of course, my dear. I apologise for the intrusion.” She left the dresses at the top of the stairs before closing the door with a soft click.

*  
Sera just said, “Ew gross. Get a room, love birds.”

“We _are_ in a room, Sera,” Bull replied.

She giggled nervously, dropped her bucket of snails, and ran away.

*  
Ellana suspected Bull had to blackmail Varric after he dropped hints about his upcoming romance serial. For that, she was most pleased. The transient nature of being walked in on was more easily dealt with than the permanence of ink on paper.

*  
Speaking of paper, Cassandra claimed she’d only stopped by to see if Ellana had finished with her copy of Swords and Shields. The poor woman could not have failed to see Ellana and Bull recreating the final love scene from that chapter--complete with the flower crown made from copper marigolds and ripped bodice. Fortunately, she seemed far more distracted by Bull wearing a shirt, even if it was unbuttoned to the navel.

*  
Ellana’s chamber and Bull’s room weren’t the only places her and Bull had sex. Before long, they’d done it in just about every room in Skyhold. That made it their own fault, then, whenever someone walked in on them.

Cullen opened the door to the war room only to swiftly close it again. Fortunately, Bull’s backside was all he saw. He didn’t meet Ellana’s eyes the next time the group convened though. She felt like she should say something,that they didn’t touch any of the markers, but that would mean acknowledging something neither of them wanted to admit had happened.

*  
Surprisingly, Dorian didn’t say anything. He just scowled at Ellana as Bull held her up, her back pressed against the stone wall of the library. He walked past, calmly, picked up the book he wanted, and threw another dirty look at the couple before he left. They didn’t start up again until his footsteps had receded into the distance.

*  
Out in the field, Blackwall once crawled into the wrong tent. Ellana and Bull made the same mistake, too. In their defence, that night had been cloaked in deep darkness and Ellana couldn’t quite remember which tent she’d claimed after Bull had made her come in front of the fire already. In Blackwall’s defence, Ellana was being very quiet, just like Bull had told her to be. She apologised for the foot to his face in the morning. She couldn’t read the expression under his beard but she noticed how he took his time to check the occupancy of the tents before barging in after that incident.

*  
Their whole party--Dorian, Cassandra, the camp’s requisition officer and two soldiers--had seen them doing it on the ground next to the first dragon they’d killed. Dorian had thrown a bar of soap at them and told them not to come back until they’d cleaned up.

*  
The only person that had never walked in on them was Leliana. Though based on their track record, Ellana doubted that Leliana was innocent. She would know. She just would. And somehow that made Ellana squirm even more than if Leliana had accidentally seen them.

*  
The worst, the most embarrassing had all been Bull’s fault. He wanted to see himself while they did it, he said. So that meant using a mirror. The full length mirror in Ellana’s chambers was full length only for an elf, but she knew where there was an even bigger one. They snuck through the gardens in the dead of night, soft footsteps over grass and into the room that held Morrigan’s Eluvian. Perhaps Ellana should have felt that having sex against an Eluvian wasn’t right, but when Bull grinned the way he did when he saw a dragon, any decorum went out the window. Or through the mirror, in this case.

It shouldn't’ve have moved. Morrigan wasn’t there to activate it and Ellana hadn’t learned how to walk through it on her own yet. But move it did. One minute her back was pressed against the surface, cool and tingly, with Bull’s chest pressed against her own, hot and sweaty. The next minute she was on the ground, Bull on top. The sky wasn’t right. There was sky! She looked around, realising they weren’t in Skyhold anymore. Not that Bull took much notice. He just said, ‘Huh’ and kept going. His finger stroked between her legs and she forgot all about where she was, arching her body, throwing her head back and crying out. When she opened her eyes she saw… oh no. Upside down in her vision, she saw Solas, perplexed, mouth opening and closing, unmoving.

“Katoh! Run!” she said, shoving Bull off her the best she should, grabbing his hand and making a dash for the mirror again. Fortunately, they went through the right one and ended up back in Skyhold.

“Maybe he didn’t see us,” Bull said.

“No chance. We made eye contact.”

“Serves him right for wandering around weird places in the middle of the night.”

“Like us?”

He laughed and kissed her. “Yeah, like us.”

They stuck to her chambers after that. Plenty of options there for an insatiable couple dedicated to pleasure. And anyway, it would be nice for it to just be the two of them for a change.


End file.
